Should I clutch Depression Medication?

I am 19 years old and growing up I had a pretty tough childhood. My mom was thoroughly abusive towards me(physically and emotionally) and my father was never home. My mom for the past 7 years of my vivacity has been a drug addict (prescription pills) and an alcoholic. My domestic also is not close. My dad passed away when I was 16 and I was also raped at 16. Which that alone has pushed me over the margin. My mother went into a downward spiral when my father passed away and abused prescription pills and alcohol like I had never see before. I entered her into a rehab and she was verbs for about a month and now she has be back using again. I moved out when I was 16 (into my brothers house, he is 35 and has his own family). I am in a minute 19 and I live with my boyfriend. (I have been near my boyfriend since I was 15). He knows how I feel, and what I enjoy been through.

This is my question: Ever since I can remember I have be depressed. Since my father has passed and me being raped I have have thoughts of suicide, I want to die and I am extremely depressed/stressed/emotional. I have gone to therapy and I have gone to counseling.

The other hours of darkness my boyfriend said I need to go on depression medication. And I just detest the thought of using medication to curb my depression. My mother abuses prescription meds and her drug of choice is xanax (along with norco, ativan, vicodin, Oxycontin etc).

Should I see a doctor to be put on a medication that can help my depression? I'm merely so confused on what I should do, I don't want to become like my mother.

Sorry for my Question being so long, but thanks for taking the time and reading it. I appreciate it.
Answers:
Medication for depression is not a drug of ill-treat and is not addictive.
You continue to have suicidal thoughts in spite of the certainty you have had therapy/counseling. Therefore, you are a good claimant for an anti-depressant. Depression is a physical illness affecting the neurotransmitters in the brain. Taking medication for it is like a diabetic taking insulin, or a personage with high blood pressure taking MDS for it.
Therapy for PT SD (which you clearly are suffering from) and depression can take years. I would be really surprised if you didn't need more sessions.
You are worried you will be like your mother; another reason to verbs therapy.
Definately go the the doctor. Not all medication is addictive, if you are worried, recount your doctor and he/she will give you advice.
At least shift to the doctor, even if you don't take the medication.

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