How do I attain previous this low point contained by enthusiasm?

-21 years old, college student--don't really like my major but sticking it out because I hold only a year left.
--I don't have any love..don't get much enjoyment out of much of anything..although, i do like watching stand up comedy.
--never really have close friends growing up..not able to emotionally open myself up
--Extremely sad sometimes (been close to that for a couple years now)...no major reason..maybe from living within this messed up world
--Also can be extremely happy and funny...I laugh a lot..perchance to mask my true feelings..I don't know. I value my sense of humor though.
--Most of the time, I find no connotation in life, and think we're adjectives just going to die, so what the hell does it matter what I do with my go?
--never had interest in sex, never been contained by a relationship..not even sure of my sexuality
--i'm extremely introspective and like to think about and imitate on stuff.
--extremely philosophical...like to look at deep quotes from philosophers
--not sure of my identity--don't really know who I am. I feel approaching I'm a copy of my mother because we both like politics and economics. I feel like I don't own a separate identity.
--I'm trying to really love myself
--Developed a skin disorder that messed up my face for a while at the end of high college and beginning of college..it was a time of extreme stress from applying to college
--sometimes I have fleeting suicidal thoughts of what it would be similar to to die..never serious though
--I sleep a lot, and still feel tired when i get 10 hours of sleep
--sometimes I want to find characterization in my life...and sometimes I don't care If I work a clerical brief the rest of my life and do nothing.
--parents fought growing up..never really saw what love looked like.
--sometimes I discern on top of the world and everything is ok.
--part of me realizes that my suffering is caused by thoughts, so if I merely change my thoughts, I can change....but it's not working
Answers:
A psychotherapist can cure you.
That's how I've felt too a lot of the time, I think surrounded by time if you search you will find something that will bring your life meaning and pro, something that you love and that makes your life worth living.
Wow, you nouns so much like me at that age!

Depression is very common surrounded by people your age. You see a lot of them here, depressed, lonely, unmotivated. Not suicidal but sort of wishing they be dead. But none of them understand the problem in the mode of detail you do. It sounds like you've done a lot of thinking for yourself, about your own condition.

You probably know that depression is simply the way we punish ourselves. It comes from feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. It happen to college students a lot because after 2 or 3 years you feel like you're losing contact beside life itself. You can't see past college. At least that be how I felt. You wonder how you're going to fit into the world after college.

You say you're trying to love yourself, which pre-empts my first bit of advice. 8^) You own to go easier on yourself, cut yourself some slack.

You just have to bring back through that last year. And then things will change. A full new chapter in your life. New environment, foreign friends, new work. I was surprised to find that working is much easier than going to school.

Find things to do a moment ago because you enjoy them. It's very important contained by life to really care about something, to be devoted about something.

Spending time with friends is also very significant. People who know you and like you for who you are. They keep you stabilized. They show you how you appear to others.

It might help to return with some counseling. But you have done a wonderful job of analyzing your feelings yourself. I really suggest you have all the tools you need to verbs yourself out of this.

Good luck!
Maybe you should go see a doctor. Possibly get treated for depression
Well I will tell you what. You sound a lot approaching me in many aspects. I am nineteen years old and a freshman contained by college and we sound very similar. I think in the order of the futility of life a lot and also have period of suicidal ideation. It can be hard to be trapped with your thoughts, so I have tried abundant patterns of changing my thinking like taking the SSRI Citalopram. I hold been on it for four weeks now. I have also tried masses unhealthy methods of altering my thought patterns including mind-altering dissociative drugs. Some of these are helpful but I wouldn't recommend using antihistamines as here are many unpleasant physical side effects. I don't sleep as much as you do. I fall asleep from 3 to 4 pm and don't wake up until twelve noon if I can. Most school nights I get 4 to 5 hours of sleep. Sometimes I pinch more lorazepam than I should when I am feeling stressed On the contrast I have a very elevated interest in sex. I am seeing a therapist right now and it seem that he is at the point where he doesn't know in which direction he should take the treatment. He may defer me to another psychotherapist who has more experience in the field of person disorders affecting young men. I really like long island tea. That is interesting about your philosophy. You should do some more reading surrounded by philosophy. I feel that reading philosophy can provide a fresh insight onto the workings of the world. I like physical philosophy and mathematics. I would similar to to be an engineer or scientist someday. Maybe you should start by looking for a career that you think you would resembling. If you find something that you like to do and you can make a living off of it I believe it can provide profusely of direction in your life. It is important to strive to find an motivation of occupation to give you direction in your life. Be scrupulous with illicit substances. I know I need to be careful beside mind-altering drugs or they can quickly lead me down the wrong path
ignore pollyxp, going to church will only make your problems worse...as for adjectives the problems you are going through...I'd see a therapist.

Also a couple life lessons, for adjectives the sadness you are experiencing, realize you are living in the real world, not the movies. In movies where on earth people are entertained by your drama, in indisputable life, it is just you wasting time. Why marinate in your grief and misery? There is no point.
it would help deeply if you went to a therapist to help you out and they will do their chore, try asking your peers for help, attend church, read the bible, pray to god, some positive things i would do :)

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